I’m standing at the top of the run-in of a 70ft jump, people watching, cameras ready, bib on (thank god not number 13), the commentators are chatting… the consequences are high. My mouth is dry, my legs are shaking, my heart feels like it might explode and I can definitely still taste the sick from where I threw up 10 mins perviously. I ask myself “Katie, why on earth do you keep doing this to yourself?!” This is not fun. This is terrifying. I hate snowboarding. I tell myself that if I can just make it out alive, that I will NEVER do this to myself again. I promise.
I drop in, everything fades into the background, including the nerves. Jump landed, trick achieved, I’M ALIVE!!! Actually that was pretty fun. I have never felt so good. What a rush. I LOVE snowboarding! I’m on top of the world, nothing can burst my bubble. Sign me up for the next competition NOW!
Snowboarding doesn’t appeal to everyone. I’ve often thought you must have to be a certain type of person to be a snowboarder (sporty, don’t mind the cold, outdoorsy, adrenaline junkie, determined, fun loving) and then definitely a different sort of person again to be a freestyle snowboarder (a screw loose). And possibly a different person again to do competitive freestyle snowboarding (do you have a death wish?!)
So what is the mentality behind snowboarding? I’m not sure if its the same for everyone, but here is my take on it…
The Beginning: Snowboarding
I certainly got into skiing and snowboarding because I loved the mountains, the snow and the lifestyle that the sports encompassed (plus both my parents were ski instructors and started me at a young age). The fresh air, the active culture, the happy tanned faces… it is an amazing lifestyle. I’m sure this must be the initial appeal to lots of people when they start snowboarding, whether it was their initial choice or not. Thanks Mum and Dad!
Freestyle Snowboarding came a lot later for me, around the age of 22! I had sacked off skiing and just learnt to link my turns on a snowboard but wasn’t too bothered about technique, I just wanted to learn tricks. I had come from a gymnastics background and always had a hobby which involved using my body to do manoeuvres and pushing it’s limits. I liked seeing what my body was capable of doing, in whatever form that took. This desire must have then manifested itself into freestyle snowboarding.
The Next Step: Freestyle Snowboarding
So much scope, you can never get bored! Once you’ve learnt a trick, you can learn it with style. It’s a very social sport, you kind of “play together”. You can jib on the piste, slide rails, hit jumps, ride the pipe, set up street spots, the list goes on. There is always more to learn, different places to try things, different features to experiment with and different people to snowboard with. There is always more to do. This does mean however that you are never content. I have kept a “trick list” throughout my snowboarding life which has never got shorter – the tricks I want to learn always outnumber the tricks I can actually do.
You are so preoccupied with learning things that you sometimes forget what you are actually doing. “I am attached to this piece of wood, and I’m going to launch myself off a 70ft jump, spin around a couple of times (I wish) and then land again (hopefully)”. The realisation comes afterwards. Something just takes over your mind and body and makes you forget the consequences for a second.
So coming back to having a screw loose, I really think freestyle snowboarders must have something missing in their brains, that “sensible” voice. I certainly hear the voice saying “Katie, stop, think about what your doing, your family, your dog, your new shoes, and what about the fish?”. But then I do it anyway and somehow push the consequences out of my mind.
But why?! Honestly, the feeling when you land something for the first time, it really is the best feeling ever. The adrenaline rush out-ways any other sensible feeling you might have, including the fear. Plus for me, it feels like I’m not just drifting through life, I’m testing myself, proving myself, pushing my limits, living my life to the full. I always need to “do stuff”.
The Inevitable: Injuries
Then you have the flip-side to this awesome sport, the injuries. Obviously not good but unfortunately come with the territory a bit when you throw yourself off big jumps or play with metal rails for fun! In a split second your life can change, and it’s scary to think about it, so probably best not to! There are massive risks involved and I’m sure that there is not a snowboarder out there that hasn’t had some sort of injury, but to have the highest of highs, some people are happy to take the lows. Luckily I haven’t come off too badly, and I do feel so grateful for that. Although I have had my fair share of “knocks”: cracked ribs, lost teeth, chipped knee cap, torn ACL, torn meniscus, displace knee cap, stitches in face, broken nose and a dislocated elbow. The scariest for me are concussions, and I’ve been hospitalised a couple of times for these, so thank god for helmets.
Just writing this list actually has made me realise how dangerous snowboarding actually is. To help me with an injury I tried to use each one as something positive. I’d figure out why it had happened, what I had done wrong, and try to correct my technique so it didn’t happen again. I would also work hard on strengthening my body (particularly in the places that were injured) so it was more ready to take the impacts. I think getting my first injury was a good thing for me. At the start I thought I was invincible, I would chuck myself down anything and hope for the best, not really thinking about what I was doing. After my injury I would consider things a lot more, make sure I was ready and knew EXACTLY what I was doing. People always ask me if having an injury puts me off snowboarding. Weirdly, injuries just make me more keen to get back to it. Being forced to take time off riding just makes you miss it so much and realise how much you love it.
The Peak: Competitions
As you can probably tell from the opening paragraph, I used to suffer really badly with nerves in competitions. I don’t know what it was really, the danger, the people watching, the pressure to do well, the fear of looking stupid. I would say I’m definitely a worrier in general, so obviously I was going to get nervous about attempting to do crazy tricks down a course in front of lots of people (in hindsight it was probably only my husband actually watching, but anyway). Yet I would keep putting myself through it. I have always though of myself as a non competitive type but I think I was more competitive with myself than anyone else. I really didn’t mind if I didn’t place well (although not coming last was always nice!), as long as I did well for me.
Somehow I managed the competitions with help from some techniques to control my nerves: music and positive self-talk. There’s something about music that can really alter your mood, with countless scientific studies showing a link between music and motivation and reduction in anxiety in sporting situations. The right song could get me pumped up and it would help me focus all my nervous energy in the right way, so I was ready to attack rather than wishing something would happen so I didn’t have to do my run! I’d have a certain song ready to go at the top of a run, blocking out the commentator’s voice and background noise and making me zone in on the music and the task at hand.
The second thing I did was give myself a good talking to. I changed all the negative voices I used to have going through my head (e.g. you’re rubbish, you don’t deserve to be here, everyone’s laughing at you, your pants aren’t skinny enough, your bum looks big, your going to fall over and wee yourself) into positive chat (Katie you deserve to be here, no one is really watching you, it doesn’t matter what you do, you’re just here for fun, think how good you’ll feel when its over, you LOVE snowboarding, just enjoy the experience). Somehow this worked. The more I did it, then stronger my mind got at pushing out negative thoughts. When I told myself I didn’t care, I did better.
The Mentality of Freestyle Snowboarding
So how do you do it? The first hit on a feature, standing at the top of a big jump, or trying a new trick for the first time is the scariest thing. Here are some things I find help me:
- Work your way up to tricks in stages, start with the simpler moves, progressing to the harder ones. Don’t run before you can walk.
- The same applies with hitting new features, start small and build up to bigger ones later.
- Watch and talk others, be inspired, check their speed, see how they do it, ask for tips, ask how features are running that day. You could even follow behind someone to get the speed/ technique if they don’t mind.
- The biggest thing is you have to commit 100%, if there is any doubt in your mind, then don’t do it. It’s a lot more dangerous to do something half-heartedly or pull out halfway.
- Make sure you are technically ready. It’s difficult sometimes to distinguish between nerves about doing something and actually not being ready to do something. Try not to get disheartened if you can’t do something, which I know is hard, but just keep positive, you’ll get it eventually.
Ultimately, take some deep breaths, put on a good tune and have fun learning. If snowboarding stops becoming fun, take a break and do something else. Life’s too short.
The Present: How Things Have Changed Since Becoming a Mum
One of the only feelings better than landing a new trick off a big jump, is becoming a mum. Its crazy to think that you can get the same euphoric feeling of landing a rodeo (just that one time) as when your kid takes his first steps. But yes, becoming a mother has definitely changed snowboarding a lot for me. First of all, I don’t get to do it much anymore. I really thought we would just carry on doing seasons, we would just have a little pet to take around with us, it would all be fine. Anyone that is a parent will know that this is just not the case. However, it does mean that when I do get to ride, I appreciate it all that more. I also feel like there isn’t any pressure to do anything special anymore! Who cares if I just want to ride down the piste all day linking turns. I just love snowboarding for the original reasons I feel in love with the sport, being outside, the fresh air, feeling the wind in my hair. Something I pine for when I sat inside on a rainy January morning, with a toddler that had just pooed on the floor.
People always ask me if I would do the same freestyle stuff that I did before, or would I be “safer” now. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure as I haven’t been in that situation yet. I’m sure if I was stood at the top of a huge jump, the feeling that I am responsible for another human being would certainly pop into my head. Although, it’s bad to say but the first afternoon back on a board after having a baby, I didn’t even think about him as I was having so much fun! The appeal of freestyle snowboarding is definitely still there for me, I don’t think that will ever change. I think I will have lost a lot of confidence, and the only way to get that back is to do it! My dream now though is to snowboard with my son, and teach him all I know, however embarrassed he might be of his Mum!
Snowboarding is an emotional roller coaster. It can make you so happy one minute and then so sad the next. I think you have to be mentally quite strong and determined to become a good freestyle snowboarder, it’s just as much psychological as it is physical. The best thing is to have a positive mental attitude towards it and remind yourself you’re doing it because you love it.
